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This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.

Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.

Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.

Second, it ignores your responsibility to deal with the issue at hand and passes it to someone else.

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You can also train yourself to make sure the child fully understands your response, with “I just told you my answer. ” This allows the child to present their opinion or get clarification.We often try to teach lesson to kids about life at the most inappropriate times.If a child gets hurt because they were doing something dangerous or inappropriate, they already learned their lesson.“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.

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